I am actually proud of myself, everything has changed so much compared to last year in the sense of where my mind was at.

I am getting better now, my paranoia has reduced, confidence has been boosted, my self esteem has risen. I am not saying I am completely different but there has been a change defiantly for the better and the main thing is that I feel happy.

Happiness was a rare emotion for me in previous years and from that a lot of bad things stem-d and it was just a fight to get through everyday with my thoughts killing me so way or other, I am just happy I am back on track towards good things, thanks to certain people who don’t even know how they have impacted my life.

…And of course, Thank God :D

I feel like I am a bad person, like i don’t do voluntary work or help out with young children or the poor.

i just kind of do my own thing and when i speak to someone that does all of these of even just one it makes me feel extremely worthless. They don’t mean to put that type of effect on me but it happens and i’m just like…. sad. 

As I m christian i feel like i should be doing all of these things and more. Trying to help the world and have some kind of physical input and other kinds.Maybe i should try and find a hobby that benefits the world and helps people that are less fortunate. 

Plus it will be a way to spend my spare time in the holidays or something and on the weekends or whenever I have time to spare.

…..Does he like me or not? actually if I am questioning it he probably doesn’t as it is obvious when a guy likes you. Why can’t a guy just come up to me slap me in the face and then say I like you haha, not ideal but at least i will know.